Old news and new hope.
11 Dec 2009 Leave a Comment
First of all, let’s get past the extended absence. I was unhappy, unmotivated, and heartbroken.
Having met the love of my life six months ago, Chris, I think the stability of my blog will return and will mainly consist of positive experiences and influences in my world. Not to be debbie downer, but it really has been a miserable few months when it comes to friendships. This is the final bit of negativity from me and I’m starting fresh.
I’m sad to say the few people I have brought into my life and trusted the most have proved to not be trustworthy, honest, or even good friends. Even my closest girl friend has been keeping things from me. Things she deemed hurtful. But she continues to do them, knowing they will continuously hurt me, and in turn hurting herself whether she knows it or not. I’ve been ripped off by another person I considered a friend. And I’ve been betrayed and hurt by someone, I (a few months ago) could talk to in the worst of times.
The only thing I’ve learned this year about people is, you can’t help them. They need to help themselves. And until they do that, they are absolute deathly hazards to those around them. If you are one of these people, you should step back and take a nice hard look at the things you’ve done and if you can seriously justify the things that I’ll see whenever I look at you, then you’re pro at this. And you will probably never change. Remorse isn’t getting anyone off anymore. I’m done playing the “Ooo I’m sorry. My bad.” I’m weeding out the losers in my life that really don’t give a shit; and as long as I live, I will probably wonder where you ended up and if you proved my never-changing-theory wrong. But that’s because I give a shit about people who have had places in my life and in my heart. I didn’t end our friendship over scarring words or being a whore.
You did.
I’m a stronger person after being taken advantage of for so long. Never again will I judge someone off the bat, “this person seems pretty down.”. I will make a point to analyze every single person trying to pry into my life and make sure they meet every positive influence requirement.
I was a forgiving person. But the first time you fuck me over, shame on you. Second time, shame on me. It’s a lonely road, but someone’s got to draw a line between right and wrong.
